I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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