So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
