i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
