How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
