at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
