So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
