She went from zero to smokin in five shots
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
