i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
