My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
