White coat. Heels.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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