i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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