I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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