There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
