Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I need water and some morals
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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