Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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