he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
