Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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