Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
