In the future we'll all be gay
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
