The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
