he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
