pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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