Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
