I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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