Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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