just tell him i said nine months
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
