i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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