you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
