"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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