i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
