Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
bring money and cleavage
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
