Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would fuck him just for his dog
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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