somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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