Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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