2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
