I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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