Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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