Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
