I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
