Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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