ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
high people should be assigned attendants
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
