The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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