i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
