:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
