Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
