Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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