So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
