if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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