you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
