You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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