Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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