just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she told me i tasted like america
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
