just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
