Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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