spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
