Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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