This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
