GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
