I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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